The Heavy Horses - Crooked Smile

In the little town where I grew up
And my childhood came and went
Was a dark-haired girl with a crooked smile
With whom my days were often spent
And I never gave much thanks to luck
When we'd count the stars at night
Well after fourteen years of war broke out
And they shipped me off to fight
I felt a taste of honor, until it finally hit me why
I'm too poor to dodge, and too young to vote
But I ain't too young to die
And that night I wept in darkness
Alone and on my knees
Clenched my hands as hard as they could squeeze

I'd never even kissed that girl
And I'd never fired a gun
And I always thought you couldn't be a man
Until the age of twenty-one
Seems the only thing I knew for sure
Is that they wouldn't take what's mine
So I set my thoughts on anything
That stepped across the line
And the first time I killed a man, I felt it in my chest
And many nights I saw his face until it blurred in with the rest
I felt no trace of honor when it finally came with ease
Instead I knelt down in the mud and begged him please

Take me home to see my mother
Take me home away from here
Don't let me die so young and broken
And surrounded by the smell of death and fear

I lost count along the way of ones I put in graves
But every one took a little more from a heart I couldn't save
And all the things I did out there were the furthest thing from law
So I screamed myself awake most nights and relived the things I saw
And if I could have just one last prayer, than the last thing I would see
Would be the dark-haired girl with the crooked smile
As she waved goodbye at me
But I never had much luck with prayers, I did even worse with pleas
But I'll be God-damned if I die here on my knees

I'm going home to see my mother
I'm going home away from here
I ain't going to die alone and broken
Or forsaken under skies full of despair